I lost my baby at 9w3d and didn’t find out until what was supposed to be my 11w appointment. After having an entire physical exam completed, a pap, and tons of blood drawn, they found that my little one no longer had a heart beat.

I had a D&C completed the same day. I didn’t want to have to continually think about the fact that I had a fetus that was no longer living. I just wanted it to be over.

The very next day I flew home for my sisters wedding. It’s been 22 days since the D&C and I’m miserable. I cry in private all of the time and can’t for the life of me shake the feeling that I did something wrong. I feel like I’m a failure, like the only thing my body is supposed to be able to do I’m not capable of. I pretend I’m fine in front of my husband and family. I just don’t know what to do anymore. My husband and I have talked about actually trying for a baby now but I have no idea how to even go about that. As of Wednesday my HCG was at 67.34, I had blood drawn again Friday during dont yet have my results back.

With it being that low should I expect to ovulate soon? Do I start trying trying again now? Do I wait until I have AF? I don’t know what to do. This was my first pregnancy and at 24 there’s no reason I shouldn’t have been able to have a healthy baby.

If anyone has words of encouragement or advise I’d love to hear it.