How do I tell him I’m not okay

I’m not an emotional person, so when I found out I lost our baby at 9 weeks, I was devastated. It wasn’t a planned pregnancy as we were on birth control, had been told IVF was our only option and on meds that cause infertility. So at first we were freaked out, but we got used to the idea of having a baby real fast. When we found out, I was like ok, my so cried but then he was fine. It’s been almost 3 weeks and I had tons of complications with my 3 D&C’s. Yes...3...don’t ask. I have spent the past 3 weeks worried about my health and haven’t had time to really grieve. So my only time is at night when I wake up panicking because of a dream that turns into water works. He is asleep and doesn’t know. He always asks if I am okay. Me being me I put on this fake smile and say I am okay, but really I want to break down and sob my heart out. How do I tell him I am not okay?