So my child’s father and I separated after my son was born because our relationship was so toxic. He was emotionally abusive and always said it was from what he was going through in his life. The whole relationship was toxic I use to check his phone every chance I got to find out if he was cheating on me, always started arguments, and I didn’t want to go out places with him because I was embarrassed that he was messing around and trying to talk to every woman behind my back. Most times I checked his phone,he was cheating. When we argued he called me all types of hurtful names and sent videos of him sleeping with someone else. We hurt each other a lot in the past but I really love and care about him. I want us to be a family but I’m so scared of what my family may think of me. I was to be stable and my son to have his father in his life. When we’re not into it, it makes me feel so special, it’s like I try to get over him and tell myself I can find somebody better but when I see him, my heart just melts. I know I may sound crazy but I love him so much.