Dear you who stole my innocence so long ago. I was just a little girl. Barely the age of seven. Yet you thought that it was time for my breasts to be a size of which you hands can cup them. Dear you who made my wall go higher to when I fell someone, I pushed them away. I pushed away whoever wanted a hug. Or a kiss. To you who have caused these nightmares. It’s not okay. You shoved your self on me. Violating every sense of protection. You took me and used me for your pleasure. You touched my body as if it were yours. You violated my sense of safety. You were my best friend and trusted with everything. You were ‘my older brother.’ I have trust issues because of you. When I like someone I shut down. My anxiety goes crazy and I can’t function. You ruined me. You ruined my body, my mind. Because, right now, I am supposed to be having fun. I should be okay with my body. I should have crushes, and likes. I should have an innocent mind. I shouldn’t know what men like. I shouldn’t be worried about how my best friends, might turn on me, and use my body for pleasure. You ruined me. You fucked with my body, and screwed with my mind. You wonder why I don’t talk to you. You wonder why you got pushed away. You wonder why I don’t have more friends, and why I don’t have a boyfriend. You wonder what imma do about it. You told me in the moment that I’m a good Christian girl. If I know any better, imma keep my mouth shut about it. it’s been shut for too long. I’m coming loose. So, Dear you, who stole my world, shook it, and returned it broken and gross. To you who stole my innocence, I hope you had your fun. Dear you who told me to stay silent, I don’t want to hear or think about you ever again.