I’m not that person.. and God reminded
22 cycles, on our 23rd. At cycle 21 had a chemical pregnancy. Been kinda salty when I see BFP announcements on this app and seeing coworkers with babies. Today God reminded me that I am not forgotten but it’s all in his timing. I woke up today with a terrible toothache and swelling to the right side is my face. I have the best dentist and staff ever! They were able to see me today! Such a blessing they are always scheduled to the max. So by the time I get there I’m in a pretty foul mood. I don’t feel good, I’m in pain, and starving. The hygienist gets me in the chair and prepping for x-rays. She attempts small talk. I’m not in the mood so I just give her a topic “we moved.” Shouldn’t be a whole of convo in that until she starts the x-rays. She takes it and runs with it. She goes on to tell me that they are putting their house for sell next month and getting ready to move to a bigger place. And she thought they were crazy moving in the middle of summer pregnant. I couldn’t tell she was pregnant. I instantly became red with envy. Thinking to myself great she has 3 kids all will be under the age of 5. I just want one. How is this fair? While I’m thinking all of these vile thoughts she precedes to say that this baby was a complete accident. That just added fuel to my jealous fire. At this point I’m looking forward to the uncomfortable x-rays. All moved forward, doc comes in, prescribed some meds and I’m out of there for a couple weeks. The very nice lady is also at the front desk to schedule my next appointment. She asked the same question my husband and I always get. “When are y’all going to have babies?” Well bc I was already salty and that question made me angry I said “oh we have been trying for almost 2 years” she didn’t miss a beat. She said it will happen. She told me it took her 13 years to ever get pregnant. She told me her Fertility specialist told her <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IUI</a> and <a href="https://glowing.com/glow-fertility-program">IVF</a> were not options for her. They wouldn’t work. Then 6 months later a natural healthy pregnancy. Then 18 months later a second natural healthy pregnancy. And now a 3rd natural pregnancy. Her story snapped me back to who I am. I’m not that woman jealous of other women’s achievements or blessings. That I’m the woman that celebrates them! I hate that I lost myself in my pain on this journey. But I’m thankful for this toothache (at the moment) bc I’m thankful she shared with me that all of our journeys are different.