Feeling so out this month

So i ovulated on the 20th which was accompanied by some pelvic pain in my left and nausea, 9 days later i had pelvic pain the same spot with nausea again. I totally thought it was implantation ( i’ve never implantation bled with both my pregnancies ) and my period is in 6 days but do you ever just not feel like you are pregnant and it breaks your heart. 😭 I never did with both my other pregnancies either but i wasn’t trying and now i am i feel like i’m not feeling anything ever, just a little vent sorry but my heart is sad and i know i shouldn’t be because i have a son already but i just can’t seem to cry a little every month about it ☹️😭