Yesterday I went to a friends child's Preschool Graduation. They all lined up in their little cap and gowns all smiling and acting all happy... The Preschool showed a small slideshow of a baby picture & a current picture of the children and they have al l grown so much..

And I got so... upset.. and angry. I wanted to get up and walk away. I want to go to my car and cry and scream. My body is SCREAMING for a baby. I want a baby and I feel like I want a baby for all the selfish reasons. I want someone to love unconditionally, I want someone to be able to pass all my knowledge onto, I want to be able to watch someone grow and develop...

But dang. I don't understand my body. I know I'm not it a good enough spot to try for a baby with my boyfriend. We've talked about kids (in depth) and we both want children! But we dont have a big enough house, we need a better car, and we have nothing for a baby. No clothes or toys or diapers or anything else that a baby would need.

But I'm so angry that I'm not pregnant and I just can't handle it.