We were due a week apart, but I miscarried at 7 weeks. It was my first, this is her third. They have two girls and are really hoping for a boy. I really am happy for them but I'm also in my own pain. I feel like I'm just sitting around waiting for them to send me the gender reveal (we live in different states) and I'm going to have a melt down. I don't want to, but I will.

I can't be around babies or pregnant women still. I'm missing out on a friend's baby shower, had to step outside when a co-worker brought his baby in yesterday, and on the outskirts of my sister's pregnancy when each one before I was there for her.

At the same time, I'm terrified of getting pregnant again. I don't want to go through another loss. We want a baby, but I'm so scared.