It just wasn't our month. After being 10 DAYS LATE. It still wasnt our time. After having the symptoms more than i ever have before. I still wasn't our time. When i started getting over excited and figured i was 5 weeks and 4 days. It still wasn't our time. After i started to get excited for January 28, 2020. IT STILL WASN'T OUR DAMN TIME. NO MATTER HOW MANY PRAYERS I DID GOD SAID IT WASN'T OUR TIME. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY BUT IT JUST WASN'T. No matter how many months I break down when af shows, no matter how many how many tears cover my phone as i type this, no matter how many anxiety attacks i have because of how hard i was crying for it to be my time ,it wasn't. Knowing a handful of women who sleep around and get pregnant with no fucking effort or simply don't even take care of the children they already have it still wasn't us

. Damn near 2 years in and its still not our time. Who knows when that time will be although im starting to doubt that there will ever be one.