I’m not happy.

I feel like life is passing me by & I have no motivation to live my life, to do anything with it. I feel hopeless sometimes I feel sad, my love life is complete shit. I have the worst luck, some times I’m happy and within minutes I’m sad and within minutes I’m calm and relaxed minutes later I’m anxious & can’t seem to calm my mind down & it just repeats itself. Idk how to be happy with myself anymore I was doing so good.. sooo good. It took me 4 months after a break up to get happy with myself I let my guard down and let someone in & i feel like I’m back to square one again figuring out how to be alone again. It wasn’t even anything serious so Idk why I’m feeling like this. It like in my head I know it’s not that big of a deal that I can be happy he wasn’t anything to me, I didn’t sleep with him let alone kiss him. It shouldn’t matter to me, but my heart is so sad hoping he’ll reach out and realize he messed up & the other side me of hopes he never returns again like he always does. Y’all I have no idea what is wrong with me. I use to not care about things like this I always said I wasn’t going to be sad over anyone anymore I wasn’t going to chase or deal with anyone’s shit. I set my standards & knew my worth & I feel like I don’t even remember any of that now.