I feel like I can’t talk to my mom about my future
I’m 19 years old, I finished my sophomore year of undergrad and I’m going into my junior year. I’m majoring in criminal justice and minoring in business law, and law school is a promising option for me after I’m done with undergrad. However I’ve made it clear to my parents for the last 6-9 months that I had no interest in living in the United States after I finished my education, be it undergrad or even after grad. (I have no problem doing graduate school here) but I do not want to live here after, I do not want to settle down here. I want to live somewhere else internationally, specifically Francs. I’ve been looking at different law schools in there, and the requirements to live there (needing student visa etc.) and whatnot. And I don’t mind if I live here for a couple years and then move there and settle down but his idea does not go well with my mom. I don’t know why, but every time I bring up what I want to do for my future, she always makes a face at me and says it’s harder than you think, or there’s no way you’ll be able to do it, don’t expect help from me or your dad, if you fail and come back crying our doors are closed etc. it’s just so hard to even get advice from her or have an actual conversation with her about these things because she gets so snappy so quickly, and when I ask her for advice on things like this, she just discouraged me so much and I feel like just screaming in a pillow. It’s so frustrating to not be able to talk to my mom about what I want to do in my future, and I understand if she doesn’t want me to move away because it’s far from home or for some other reasons, I completely understand. And I hate to say it but it is my life too, I want to decide where I want to live and settle down and work. I don’t enjoy living in the United States, and France is always somewhere I’ve wanted to explore and settle down in. My mom also makes comments like “oh you think by running away to far countries you’re running away from your problems and everything will be fine?” I don’t understand where she’s coming from and when I ask her she gives me the nastiest look and I just lose the interest in even having a conversation with her.
Am I being unrealistic? If I wanted to do my master and do law school abroad and then settle down there is that too unrealistic? If I want to settle down there and work there, and have a family there (in the future) is that wrong or not possible? I have no idea how to be able to talk to my mom about his and I want to because she’s my mom and I would like her advice, but all she seems to do is just spout shit to me half the time and the other give me dirty looks.
I know I’m only 19, so I can definitely appear as a kid still and someone who doesn’t know what they want, but it’s never harmful to think about the process or what can happen. And by the time I finish college I’ll be 21, so I can either do grad school and then move to France. But I would prefer to do law school in France itself because I’m uncertain as to whether I can practice law in a different country if I didn’t learn the legal system of that country.