I feel so evil for being so jealous of my Fiancé cousin who just told us she is pregnant. I hate to say it but they are not ready for a child he is a drug dealer and gang member still living with his mother who is in love with the gang life and I’m over here struggling to even get my period. We have been secretly trying for over a year now and every month my heart breaks. I’m currently 3 days late for my period this month but I know it’s because my cycle is all out of whack not because I’m pregnant. Already gone to my obgyn and I have no issues my period is literally just none existent I have never had this problem before until I took out my nexplonon. Idk how I’m gonna even handle their gender reveal. I’m so mad I have never hated my body before and I’m starting to give up. Why can’t I get pregnant do I need to do drugs and be a loser because no offense but it seems all the women who cry themselves to sleep who would give anything just to be a mother can’t get pregnant. I hate this feeling of jealousy and rage

I have.