Forgive me if this isn’t the place to post this, but I figure advice from people who are already married/going to be was the best place to go. And I apologize if it seems all over the place...Here’s a little back story and how I’m feeling/why.. 😕

My boyfriend and I have been together 4 years now, he’s 22 I’m 20. We’ve lived together on our own for 2 years now but are currently living with his mom to try and save up some money for a down payment on a house. We have 2 dogs, one we got shortly before we moved in together and the other a year later. And we had a beautiful baby boy last month. Usually we get along great and hardly have any issues. And when I say hardly any issues I mean big fights. We have plenty of small disagreements, but 99% of those end in us just talking things through. And he’s been a great dad to our little boy, considering he had pretty much no interaction with babies prior to having our own.

Now.. I don’t know why I feel this way sometimes, but I do and need to talk about it. I’m at a point where I hardly even wanna try anymore.. He hardly puts any effort into anything, I’m always the one to initiate anything (going for supper, doing housework, sex, etc) if I don’t ask or say anything nothing happens and he sits on his phone literally all evening. He leaves all the decisions up to me, he never just does anything or says “this is happening”. Everything is always my decision or he feels the need to ask for my permission. That or he’s always gone all evening/most of the day on weekends cuz he makes himself so busy then bitches about it later. He refs lacrosse voluntarily, will be coaching minor football in a few months, and takes the on call phone for work literally ALL THE TIME. It seems like he’s never home or voluntarily wants to spend time with his family especially while our son is still little. Yet when I say something he says he wants to but can’t cuz he has to be elsewhere. How about say no once in a while?

And pretty well all of our close friends are engaged now over the past year or so. And it leaves me feeling kind of bummed... Not that being engaged or not is a deal breaker but it just feels like it’s never gonna happen yenno? He always talks about how he wants to put a ring on my finger and how it’s gonna happen soon but I’ve been hearing that for so long now.. and on top of that he’s a huge procrastinator and knowing that doesn’t help...

I love him with all my heart but it’s just getting hard to not walk away for my own sake.. i guess I’m just tired of feeling like I’m the only one putting in any effort to make our relationship exciting anymore.. I’m sure he doesn’t mean to hurt me or even realize he’s doing it sometimes.. but nothing is gonna change unless he makes it change.. he doesn’t seem to realize or wanna accept that.