Having a rough day

Hi

Anyone else have a randomly midcycle rough day questioning everything?

I've been up all night tossing and turning... What if it never happens.. What if i'll never have my own little critter.. What will I do when my boyfriend tells me we're done trying because right now we are trying but he is a lot older than me and he doesn't want to be too old because what if our baby will be pregnant on his deathbed and he'll never see his grandchild.. But the way I feel now.. I'm not sure I will stay with him or choose for a life with a baby...

If I stay with him I'll always be reminded of a baby I never had because he has 3 kids with his ex.. And as much as I do love them they are not mine..

I am really struggling tonight 😭