I just don’t know how to feel

I don’t think I’ve felt more out of place than I am now. I don’t think there’s words I could use to describe how I feel. I feel like all I can do is just write it out. I just don’t know how to admit it to myself that it happened and who did it. I don’t want to believe it was that person. And they apologized afterwards and realized what they’d done but it still doesn’t make it okay. I can’t even talk about what happened I just feel so shocked and uncomfortable in my own skin. I’ve just been crying. He asked me to forget about it and to pretend like nothing happened. But I don’t even feel like a person anymore. I just don’t think I’ll be able to forgive and forget. This was supposed to be my best summer yet and to go out and live my best life and meet new people. Now I feel like I can never be touched again or be truly happy. And I just don’t know what to do Bc I don’t deserve this. No one does. This shouldn’t be taken away from me and I’m not sure what I can do. But to happen in MY house. In MY room. Makes me feel so disgusted with myself. I felt like I couldn’t say no and I made it clear I was uncomfortable and I’m not good at talking my feelings or thoughts to others. Will I ever be the same again? I just feel broken. Just dumb and broken.