**I wanted to say thank you to all the well wishes and advice. Unfortunately, things are finally setting in more. We have each other. We are the only two who shared her last day and her now infamous "it's simply inconsumable" phrase about the burgers we had before our nightmare afternoon.

Thank you.*

Have you lost a child?

My daughter passed away May 30, 2019.

Alexis was 13. We went swimming, my boyfriend of almost 3 months, my daughter, my dog (lab/pit) and myself.

I was told that she must have slipped on a rock, knocked the wind out of her and got caught in the current from the low head dam.

He did everything. He pulled her from the water, CPR, literally everything with the kindness and help of strangers.

Her little body just couldn't take it.

She was put on life support and transferred to our local children's hospital.

Directly across from where I held her during her first breaths, I held her through her last on Earth.

I'm completely besides myself. To say I'm lost and feel completely broken is a understatement.

I miss my baby so bad. The silence is the worst. It kills me.

Our last picture together. I got pulled over in the driveway the night before this happened. We had a good laugh poking fun at me, because only I would get pulled over in the driveway.

Now, I completely understand my grief. I don't know how to deal with it, but I'm trying to process everything. How well I'm doing, that is a different story.

I'm worried about my other half. We were friends for a couple months before getting together. They instantly clicked. She adored him and he did her.

He feels guilty, we both do, about not being able to do more.

He did more than I could. I froze. It all blurred and seemed like another reality.

He performed CPR until help arrived.

He just feels like he should have done more. That it will never be enough.

I guess my question is how many of you have went through something like this?

What helps?

How do you cope with the clouded head robot mode?

What do I do.

I ask all this as I am laying on the couch in a pile of her pictures and art work. I can't get it together enough to get up. Everything has frozen at the house except she's not here.

My heart is gone. She took both of ours with her when she left.

Any help would be appreciated.

***Update***

I just wanted to say thank you so much for all the helpful words of advice and for those who have reached out to help me with this whole process.

The day after Thanksgiving we found out that I was pregnant.

It's been a rollercoaster of emotions for the both of us. It's been a tough road for the whole family.

When we found out that,

It was a girl, it brought a sense of peace and sorrow to us.

She's not going to replace Alexis. No one could ever replace her. But she will help in the healing process we are still going through.

Thank you all so much for everything. ❤