So, my boyfriend has pretty high sex drive. Like, sex every day, sometimes more than once. I, however, have a pretty low sex drive and it seems to just be decreasing. It’s nothing to do with him, I just honestly could have sex like once a week and be totally fine.

As it is, we have sex almost every day. No, he doesn’t force me or anything like that, but most of the time I do it because he wants to. Of course I always end up enjoying it, but I’m never just randomly “in the mood.”

This leads to me having trouble initiating sex, and we’ve had multiple discussions about this and honestly, I thought we were doing better because he hasn’t said anything in a while, but tonight he seemed upset and when I asked him if he was okay, he started going on about wanting lap dances and how he wants me to “put some effort into being sexy,” which he hurried to qualify by saying that I was naturally sexy regardless.

He said he wants our sex life to be more spontaneous and exciting and I just don’t know what to do. I googled “how to give lap dances” and got queasy-anxious just thinking about trying to replicate those moves. I can’t do that stuff. I’m not nearly confident enough. I guess I’m boring?

I had a boyfriend tell me more than once that he was worried about dating me because he was afraid he’d become bored with me. I never really put much thought into it, because he turned out to be an ass and I broke up with him, but now I’m freaking out.

Is there something I should be doing? How can elevate my own sex drive? Am I doomed to be boring and unexciting?