I suffer with pnd/pna, I'm currently going to a CBT Postnatal group to help with that. In one of the sessions, they handed out this poem and it made me cry at the accuracy of what I was feeling. The poem really touched me and I want to share it with you guys as well. It's called listening....

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On the outside looking in,

You see a smile and all is well,

Yet if you look a little closer,

You'd see the pain in which I dwell.

-

You ask me how I am,

Yet the truth you do not seek,

For if I show you my pain,

You do not let me speak.

-

On the inside looking out,

I see the joy in others lives,

I wonder where my joy has gone,

Its absence hurts my eyes.

-

Through the haze I see the days go by,

As I watch my child grow,

I fear my acts will scar her,

Or is she just too young to know?

-

My child is so precious to me,

The most beautiful thing I've seen,

I love her more than life itself,

And yet sometimes I'm so mean.

-

I dont know why I get so angry,

When her cries are just her speech,

She doesn't deserve my anger,

Or my attitude of defeat.

-

You tell me she's a good baby,

Don't you think I already know?

Your words just drive the pain harder,

When all I want is to let go.

-

Why are you so scared to hear,

The truth behind this smile?

I need for you to understand,

To listen for a while.

-

It is the illness that I suffer,

A bad person I am not,

As a mother I do my very best,

I give it everything I've got.

-

In time, I will be well again,

But for now I need you here,

For a shoulder just to cry on,

Or an understanding ear.

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Sherri Hardy

For me personally verse 4 and 9 were the ones that made me cry and hit home the most 🥺