I recently wrote a post about being on a dry spell (6 months) and I just had sex with my boyfriend literally not too long ago. It wasn’t .... like I didn’t feel anything.... I didn’t feel good. In the beginning I did but then I just wanted it to be over. I didn’t like being penetrated. I didn’t even want to take control. I felt nothing having sex. Recently ive been questioning my sexual preference.... I admire women and their beauty. When I watch porn I just look at the women and I want to know what it’s like to please them and feel them. But I’m scared. My family already hates me because they think I’m not like them. I have a tense family situation my mom doesn’t approve of that and my dad just he thinks so lowly of me... my siblings aren’t in the picture and they also think I’m a piece of shit. I’ve talk to my boyfriend about my liking women and he makes me feel bad for liking them because he always says “what if you leave me for a girl, like I would lose a relationship..” and I don’t know. I want to know what it’s like but I’m scared. Even now the sex I had with my boyfriend just hurt me -wasn’t even that long of a moment tbh- I just I’m not sure..