We just had our first baby 9 months ago. Up until I was 8 months pregnant I was working. Since then I have not been back to work. But I do EVERYTHING around the house and with the baby. I do laundry, I cook, I clean, I play with the baby, I feed the baby, I bathe the baby, I put the baby to bed, etc. To the point of exhaustion. Some days I feel like I can’t function and maybe once or twice a week I literally am so exhausted I can’t cook and he either bbqs or we order out. But overall I am the one cooking. So although I’m not actually working working, I’m still working and I still give a little money!

Anyways, I plan to start working again but I decided instead of going in to work, I want to work from home. I am opening my own home daycare! I’m so exhausted. I get to stay home with my lo while making money for our family. But because I’m so exhausted it’s hard. I planned to start when our daughter was a lot younger, but I have now decided I will start once she’s 1 year old. So I have 3 months.

He received a little bit of money from his vacation pay and I told him to pay off all his debt with it, which he did. He told me he was going to give me a couple thousand towards my visa debt. Which he didn’t. That’s fine I didn’t say anything. I’m just annoyed because I’m the past when he didn’t have money I was the one paying for a lot and I helped pay off some of his things for him.

I live in Canada so I get a child tax benefit every month and maternity leave. I use the child tax benefit to buy things for our child. I never buy anything for myself. He never has to pay for anything for our daughter. I also give him my maternity leave (it’s only $600 but still I try). I have a visa that’s almost racked up and we had a problem with our stroller so we are being reimbursed for it. But he told me to use my visa and once I get reimbursed for the old one to throw that straight on my visa.

Well now he’s saying to transfer that money to him that he needs savings. I told him that’s completely unfair. I need to pay off my debt too! I told him if we ever have an emergency we can always use my visa so it’s just as good as savings!

Long story short, we got into an argument and he told me that he needs help I need to work and that I’m living off of him. He told me that I can start paying half the rent. He said some hurtful things that makes me feel like a loser. I also suffer from major anxiety which causes me to suffer a lot through my day to day life and I can’t just get ANY JOB!

I just went upstairs. I’m crying. I’m hurt. Do you think I’m wrong?

Update: we live together. Our money is supposed to be together as one. He pays majority of things, but I give $600 that goes towards rent ( so he pays $1000) and I pay for most of the babies needs). The thing is we’re fine off of the income we have. We are able to usually save at least $500 a month. Plus I don’t always use all the child tax benefit on the baby. So I’m not understanding. And I WILL be working in 3 months? I’m just more upset that he’s treating me like this and not taking my debt seriously. Like I put the stroller on MY visa and now he wants the reimbursement?