So I just went through a traumatic break up two months ago where my partner slept with someone else and he rubbed it on my face.

He was a loving person & when he did that it just traumatized me because I would’ve never thought he would do something like that. He would always oppose cheating and just not be for it. So it really traumatized me how he told me and rubbed it on my face saying he came in her 4 times.

I had nightmares for 2 whole weeks just of him telling me he slept with someone else. When I tell you guys that I was shocked I truly was shocked. His family was shocked too they tried to be there for me. So those nightmares happened for two weeks and then I came to accept it and began moving on very slowly.

The thing is I feel like I was left traumatized that my sex drive just sky rocketed down and I can’t think of masterbating or just sex. Like it just doesn’t turn me on anymore.

I tried masterbating today and I was sort of in the mood & It was something I wanted to do so I watched some porn and sort of got into it but it just would hurt. I lubed up a bit but it wouldn’t stop hurting like My walls just clenched and did not allow anything in.

Maybe it was the fact that when I watch porn all I could think about is him having sex with that one girl ruining the mood for me but I can’t help it he was my everything and he really hurt me

Point is I want to masterbate but it just hurts and I can’t stop feeling traumatized with anything that has to do with sex.

Please help me😞