I really thought I could have been pregnant. I had a lot of symptoms and could have sworn I saw faint lines on my tests (now realizing they were probably just evap lines). But yesterday I noticed some spotting coming out. I tried to remain calm thinking it could be implantation bleeding but I’ve had spotting before my periods for the past two months. As I was driving home from work, I felt the cramps getting stronger. Not extremely painful but I definitely noticed them. When I got home I checked myself and saw red blood starting to come out. For sure got my period.

Needless to say I was devastated. I cried so hard. I started thinking about everything that had gotten me so hopeful. The fact that this month I was supposed to give birth and maybe this would be a fresh start. The fact that I wanted to surprise my husband on Father’s Day. The fact that he seemed so excited thinking I could possibly be pregnant.

As much as my heart hurts now, I can’t and won’t give up. I know God’s timing is perfect and one day, he will bless me with a positive pregnancy test again. (Hubby and I are moving soon so there is a lot going on and maybe this month want supposed to be when we got pregnant). I’m also looking at the positives of this cycle. I’m no longer spotting (which means I’ll be able to tell when I have my period right away) and my cycle looks like it’s back on its regular 30 day routine. I’m going to start using opks as soon as my period is done and this month, I will be actively trying preseed. If you are ttc, don’t lose hope. God will grant us the wonderful gift of motherhood. Baby dust and prayers for all of us.