As I know how strongly against homosexuality you both are, I know you should never see this.

I, your daughter, have always known I was attracted to girls. Yet, I always wanted a husband. I didn’t know there was a word for it when I was little, I just knew I liked girls and it was wrong. Yet when I openly liked boys, I still got yelled at. Being attracted to other girls is a sin, yet outwardly being attracted to boys was also a sin. I was confused and scared.

Then I was on the Internet, and I found the word.

Bisexual.

The word that meant I can like both. Yet, I STILL couldn’t because I was a “Christian” And Christians can’t be homo.

So... I kept it under wraps. At least I still like men. At least I can still get married and have babies and won’t be frowned upon.

I had a bisexual friend and I was scared to tell him, even though he was an atheist and lived in another country. I was scared of you, my parents somehow finding our chat logs. I didn’t even tell my best friend until I was already married and moved out because I was scared she would tell you. Now I know that I trust her more than I have ever trusted you. I finally confessed how deeply bisexual I am to my husband one drunken night.

He didn’t get mad, like I thought he would. He didn’t pervert it. He only asked questions about it, smiling the whole time, knowing how it was helping me, as he knows of my self hatred tendencies. Ever since telling him, I have felt more confident.

Yet, it seems, I should not tell you. I’m not scared of you getting angry with me... I’m scared of you getting the church involved, as you always do with things you deem wrong.

Mom, dad, I’m bi. I don’t act on it, as I am in a very committed monogamous relationship, but damn.. c’mon, there are girls I just wanna bang.

I ain’t proud, as it just is what it is. And you will never know.

Love, your daughter.

Edit:

Main reasons why I will NOT be telling my parents:

The scream “EEEEEWWWW” every time they see a gay couple kiss.

My dad FREAKED OUT when my bff moved in with her fiancé before they got married.

He also freaked out at me when I was 4 or 5 when I told him I wanted to marry a girl because boys were icky and I didn’t know how babies were made. (I seriously thought babies were made by women who just decided to have baby and boom, they were pregnant. I thought lesbians could just magically have babies while guys were just icky and smelly weirdos... again... I was like 5)

My dad went BALLISTIC when he found out my boyfriend (now husband) kissed me on the forehead after he had accidentally elbowed me there. Because, apparently, kissing, even on the forehead, meant we were having sex. (We weren’t.)

Oh, and he nearly openly admitted that he was for conversion therapy. Cannot forget that. The second time in my life I was ready for prison.

So yeah... my dad is a bible thumping control freak who tells the pastor EVERYTHING. My parents have always been manipulative Bible thumpers, and proud of it. While 2 of my cousins are outwardly bi/lesbian, my parents tend to say a lot of things about them when they aren’t around, and are frigid when they are.

I just don’t want to tell them. They wouldn’t even want to understand. They would just try to lecture me as if I was still a teen and then run off to the pastor for advice on how to fix me.

And as I said, I don’t act on it since I am married do prefer men anyway... but there are times I watch lesbian porn to satisfy the gay in me. I try not to since it feels like I’m cheating when I do, you know, visualizing someone that isn’t my husband, not a good thing to do, in my mind.

Anyway, just happy to let it out on here.