Trigger Warning!!!

UPDATE 2: I’ve not had her for 10 days, he also stated in our RECORDED convo, that she never complained about anything while she was with him. I’m not concerned nor do I have anything to hide so I’m not concerned if DHS gets involved. I’ve spoken to my attorney & he’s already said DHS would be investigating them if anyone since they’ve had her for 10 days. Again, I’m not concerned. I’ve also spoken to the ER already & to my aunt who’s a pediatrician both have advised me to take her to the pediatrician unless she’s bleeding or complaining a whole lot. The ER even took my name down & gave me the name of the RN I spoke to so if I need to get a report from the ER showing I called I can get one. Plus the call was recorded, as all my calls automatically record.

Update: so her dad has no idea why I was calling him. Other than the texts he had no idea I was even calling him. Apparently his wife was rejecting the calls. He said he called me after she complained about me “texting his phone”. Also, he said he has left her alone with his wife & she’s been around her family. I’m guessing this would be why she’s freakin out. I am in contact with my attorney right now so figure out what steps I should take legally about this, I know he already told me NOT to let my ex or his wife in the Drs appt as they were the last ones to have contact with her. Our court order states he has no legal say in her medical or education so I won’t be breaking any laws, but I’ve always kept him in the loop means how he’s her dad. But my attorney said this could be conflicting if something did happen to her. Plus his wife isn’t to be there anyways means how she’s not a parent at all.

I have a 3 year old daughter. I have full & primary custody. Her dad married a girl he’s known for 2 months, I’ve met her one time, idk her other than that. Idk her family or anything. They’ve been doing week on week off with me because it’s summer time.

October 2018: I pick my daughter up from her weekend at her dads house. Next day, I pick her up from daycare, they tell me they think she has a UTI. She was complaining about it hurting down there. I call her dad & tell him I’m gonna take her to the ER. He wants me to drive an hour to his nearby hospital instead of mine (10 mins away) and said his new GF would be there. I said I wasn’t okay with her being there means how this is a personal matter with our daughter & to respect her privacy I would rather a stranger not be there. He refused to come after that. I called the ER to see if I should bring her in & get their advice and they said not to bring her in, to take her to her Dr the next day. I did. Dr the next day said it could be a matter of things, told me what to watch for, etc. She never complained about it again, so we took it as irritation from her diaper (she was learning to potty train & was 2 at the time).

Today: I pick up my daughter last night. I get her home & she comes to me crying she’s hurting down there. I figured she had to pee as she’s potty trained but sometimes will hold it if she’s been in the car. I notice in the bathroom she has yellowish discharge. I also notice she was red & irritated. I take a picture of the discharge & call her dad. It was 12 am, I know he was awake as he was posting on FB. Besides I felt this was urgent. The call was rejected. I sent him a text message asking if anyone’s been around her or if they’ve taken her swimming or given her bubble baths (I have a very sensitive PH balance so baths & lakes throw mine off, I figured maybe this could throw off hers too?). I get text messages from his wife (same GF) telling me I will not call her house at 1 am. She sent me texts until 3 am telling me to stop trying to get my “daily rant” out. I never speak to them, so idk what she’s talking about. I called my aunt who’s a pediatrician & she said not to take her to the ER as it could be a yeast infection, UTI, anything. That I don’t need to traumatize her by having strangers poking around on her & violating her. To have her Dr who she knows check her out.

I get a call from her dad this morning. I asked him if she’s been swimming or had baths, he said no. I asked if shes been alone with anyone, he said just his wife. I told him the concerns, he said “well you’re not being a good mom by not taking her to the ER.” And basically told me to stop accusing him of abusing his daughter, I NEVER accused him of that. Why would I? I said “I’m taking her to the Dr Monday to check for a UTI, etc.” made clear I’m not accusing him of that? I simply asked if she’d been alone with anyone? These are questions her Dr will be asking. He said he felt she needed to be taken to the ER, I said “If you feel there is a chance she could have been sexually abused while in your care, then I will take her in. If not, I will wait till Monday and let her Dr make the final call as I don’t want to traumatize her or overreact & accuse things of happening while in your care.” He replied “I think she should be checked.” That makes me feel like he’s telling me theirs a good chance something happened. Our court order also states that he’s not supposed to leave her alone in anyone’s care, not even his wife’s. She has to be with him at all times or brought back to me.

I still feel like I should take her to her Dr, not the ER. I know when I was sexually abused the ER didn’t do anything, they told my parents to take me to my primary physician. I told him I’m not going to be sending her back to his house until I get a clear answer from her Dr. I’m concerned as to what to do.

No negative comments please, I’m freaking out. I’m very protective & I don’t leave my kids with anyone. So the fear that something could’ve happened to her while at her dads house & I wasn’t able to protect her devastates me. I’m just mostly upset about all this because this is a VERY VERY SERIOUS situation and I don’t feel like any childish behavior should be presented right now. I’ve been in tears all day thinking that my baby girl could have been hurt & they can’t act mature enough to discuss this with me.

Pics of the messages:

To make clear, this message was sent an hour after I called & texted her dad. I never contacted or tried to contact him again after that. I’ve gotten along with every other GF he’s had, he’s always chosen very mature, respectful girls who treated my daughter amazing. This girl on the other hand has rules that he’s not allowed to have contact with me, tried to say we had to go through her, when I lost my home due to an emergency, she refused to allow my daughter to come stay with her dad so she’d have a place to stay at for a night. Etc. idk why she felt the need to message me last night. I tried to stay as mature as possible although I will admit I was FUMING. This is a serious situation in my opinion and the fact I can’t even call my daughters dad about it pisses me off.

2) The 3rd message was sent after he called me and told me “nothing you say will make me talk to you.” And hung up on me. Like I want to talk to him about anything else?! I also have this call recorded as all my calls are recorded.

This isn’t the first time his wife has contacted me acting like this. Their lawyer told them that she needs to STOP contacting me unless it’s about my daughter, after she decided to blow my phone up one day mocking my family members death & accusing me of lying about it so I could “talk to her man” 🙄