Advice please !!!
I apologize in advance for how long this post will be but I really need some outside perspective! The people who know and love me are obviously biased which is understandable , I just want to make sure I’m seeing the whole picture before I make a final decision ...
That being said .. backstory time
my boyfriend and I have been together for two years . We are both divorced and were young parents so we each have two children from our prior relationship. He’s 33 and I’m 31 , his kids are 12 and 10 and mine are 9 and 11. The dynamic has been really nice they all get along well and that just makes this all the harder to deal with . Last year we broke up around September due to a lot of work and financial instabilities on his end . When we met he had his kids every other weekend and was living at home at his dads house , the kids and him would all share one room those weekends . It was a lot of plans and excuses as to why he wasn’t out on his own and he just had been accepted to the electrical union so there was potential there for a turn around . Maybe I was naive to think he could get his shit together but I’ve also been in hard times and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt but after over a year together things not changing for the better I was getting exasperated. He had lost jobs , lost his car and was fighting a custody battle on the premise that he could provide stability which was mainly based off of me since he and the kids ended up staying over at my place a lot . I told him he needs to take accountability for himself and his kids not depend on others to do so and I didn’t want to be his life raft. As a single mom it takes a lot to run my life with my kids and I was feeling that he was taking advantage of me in our relationship for the stability aspect . The final straw was him letting his car get repoed! ! In all other ways he’s incredible ! He’s my best friend and I love him so much but I don’t understand how he can’t get his shit together . After some time apart he seemed to really kick it into gear . He got a second job and his own place on a month to month basis and seemly was doing well . We reconciled and he moved in with me and my kids . Shortly after people starting coming out of the woodwork claiming he owed them money , he never paid off the rest of his apartment and screwed them over etc! Fast forward to the last few months more of the same . He had more custody issues arise but hadn’t paid the lawyer from the last time so she wouldn’t represent him . More car trouble and not going to work when he could have found alternative means , paying rent late and putting me in a bad position financially because I’m picking up the slack . He eventually pays me back but it’s the point that it shouldn’t be like this ! I’m really fed up and yet again he’s starting to take on more side work and making promises that I know will most likely be short lived ! There’s always an excuse he’s always the victim of bad luck etc but really it’s his attitude and making stupid choices ! Everyone thinks I should just be done completely and kick him and the kids out . It’s hard to turn my back forever when you’re so in love with someone . I lost need advice and to vent ! Thank you !!!