I had a miscarriage last September. It was the darkest goriest time for me and my husband. It was just a nightmare. I was abroad, the hospital wanted to milk me dry and I didn’t have any money so they left me to bleed out. I believe that God does everything for a reason so that is how I coped and eventually I have come to see that we were not quite ready to have a baby together. We were in a long distance relationship, did not even start any type of visa paperwork, were not financially stable... I went back home to Toronto in October.

I had to find a new job and start saving if I wanted to be with my husband again. I had always wanted to work for A popular top Canadian airline and I tried for the second time to apply, I figured what the heck.

In November they called me. I was ecstatic! It was my dream job at the time. (Just getting in with the company, it wasn’t an attendant job, just a measly check in agent.) I went through all the training and was on the force by February.

When I tell all of you that I was so disappointed in the role. Not to mention the minimum wage pay. I had to work doubles to be able to cover the minimum of my costs. I had to wear a super strict uniform and be watched on cameras all day and deal with heavy duty security and important documents all day. I had the power to turn around a whole plane if I made even the tiniest check in mistake on their old 1989 check in software. All for 14$ an hour. I grew unhappy there in as little as a month on the job. The people were super judgy (lots of cranky senior agents that never liked to help out and were so rude to customers). Finally I nailed a couple weeks vacation and I took advantage and went to see hubs. In my tropical paradise with my husband I unwinded and I realized that life is SHORT and that I wanted to spend every minute of it with my husband. I began thinking about starting my own business, something in fashion because I’ve always loved making looks and standing out.

I was walking for a long time on the beach one day and I reached a stretch of beach with a cute lounge. Off to the side of the lounge was a little boutique store that said BIKINI SHOP, I thought “OH MY GOD HOW CUTE” & immediately went inside. I had a conversation with the tall, well dressed Italian lady about starting a business, how she did it.. what she suggests...

I went about my day.

Eventually I get back to Toronto. When I aas putting away my luggage I realized I have a whole drawer just for bikinis. I have hundreds! I never realized how much of an addict I was! Then I was like oh my gosh!!! BIKINIS!

I had tried a custom painting business (I’m an expressionist abstract painter), painting murals, canvas and body mirrors... I just couldn’t find the clientele. Galleries showed no interest. No one gave me the opportunity.

I had tried a custom cake business (I worked for five years in a bakery as a decorator since I was 15, I had the background) and although I was good and had steady orders coming in, it didn’t feel like my passion.

Then it clicked. Art + Fashion + Beach = BIKINIS!!!! I won’t lie when I say I was inspired by the Italian Bikini Lady. In no way did I want to copy her or take her business. I came to the realization when I realized how much I have always loved bikinis and how I knew then, that I could create not only bikinis, but super beautiful clothing and accessories for women to feel empowered and GOOD.

I continued to go to work and silently planned and saved and researched what I had to do to get started. I started drawing out designs and researching the history of the bikini; it felt perfect and natural. I felt like this was for me.

One day, on the train platform to the terminal at the airport, I stood with a friend of mine. I randomly blurted out “I want to start a bikini business” it was then that I had actually made it real, said it out loud. She said to me “That’s funny you say that, I just started a sunglass chain line, and I think it would look amazing with your bikinis” and BOOM. Things began to fall in to place. I asked her how she did it and she gave me some tips. Suddenly I had my website. I had contacts around the world. I had designs. I had fabrics. I had hope, faith, positive vibes, passion; MANIFESTING THE DREAM.

So I created my company.

A week later I was on Facebook and I see an AD put out for a BIKINI VENDOR NEEDED ON “” BEACH. I said HEY wait a minute. That’s the beach I walked on.

I clicked the post and recognized the Italian lady’s shop. She needed someone to watch her shop while she goes to Ibiza to create more bikinis.

I sent her a message, not knowing whether I was serious or not, and asked for details. It seemed perfect for me. Quiet beach life, lunch included (yum), pay wasn’t bad, suddenly I own a bikini line and now this!? Not to mention

I COULD BE WITH MY HUSBAND!

But then I thought. What about my job? I waited so long and went through so much to get here.

But I thought, am I happy?

I went through a couple of weeks pondering and pondering the decision. Then one morning I said, God, today you will give me the sign to make my final decision. I could tell the bikini lady was desperate for me to help her, she would not take no for an answer. I could tell she believed in me. For me that is priceless.

I pulled my uniform on that morning at 3am and made my way to my 4:30AM shift.

About halfway through my day, a manager called me for a “meeting”. Confrontation like this always give me the WORST anxiety. As a perfectionist I hate to be called out or corrected and have an aversion to authority. I asked him what about, and he wouldn’t tell me. Panic. Mode. On.

I started to get all choked up and stressed out. What have I done? I started to think about my day, what did I do wrong now? (I was popular with the managers, always getting in to some sort of trouble) I felt like they were picking on me in an effort to strengthen me for a manager position (that’s what they always said). Ever since I was little teachers, coaches, mentors and even my parents tried to put reigns on me, whip me in to shape, teach me lessons and go tough on me in weird attempts “to make me stronger”. I always hated that.

So I go in this meeting. And there are five corporate dudes sitting all around me staring at me in disgust like I killed a man. I was like wtf. I kept repeating, can you tell me what I’ve done? “We’ll get to it” they kept repeating. My panic just grew from my gut up to my throat.

They started the meeting saying “were you or were you not at work on Thursday April 11th 2019?” It was then I got really pissed. Everyone taking notes like I killed a man. What the fuck did I do!?

I tried to be calm. But in my defense, who the fuck could be calm when people won’t tell you what the fuck you did and are taking notes super slow and asking you questions like lawyers in court. NAHH.

TURNS OUT; due to me being so quick at check in, I rushed through a check in for a passenger and I CHECKED HER IN ON THE WRONG FLIGHT. She said CHINA not INCHEON. In my defense they sound super similar. What are the odds her english last name would be on BOTH asian flights. 1 in a MILLION.

GOD gave me a mf sign alright.

(POSTING THE REST OF THE STORY IN COMMENTS BELOW NO MORE ROOM -PICTURES ARE SPOILERS I KNOW)