ranting cause i have no one to talk to

up until i was 10, my mom was my best friend. then she cheated on her husband (my step dad of 4 years that was also my best friend) with a guy that she met at the strip club and was also on drugs. he got her on drugs and i went to go live with my dad (i still live w him) she kept coming to live with my dad (me and my brother live w him) then going back to her boyfriend. it has happened about 6 times and this time she took my only pair of nice tennis shoes and had my dad buy her a cadillac (car) and she went back to her boyfriend! she told me she always wanted to be their for my first period and the day after i started my period she left. i have been trying to get ahold of her but she has only answered once and when she picked up the phone she ave me a "why are you calling me" attitude. my bsf who was my moms ex's daughter (basically my sister lol) facetimes me everyday and has to calm me down because i hurt so much from it and she never taught me anything about being a woman. obviously my dad can't help me because he is a dad lol and this is the only place i feel safe. i miss my mom. who she was before all of this. i just want her back and every time she comes back i get my hopes up and she leaves. she said "if i live with my kids i can't have the love of my life AND my kids. but if i live with the love of my life i can have my kids too." my brother told me to stop texting her letting her know she can't have her boyfriend and her kids because her boyfriend is not nice at all. this is too long already but if anyone read this far can you comment something uplifting so it can cheer me up and help me stop crying?