How do you handle finding out a friend is pregnant when you’ve been trying?

Question

I’m trying so hard to be positive for her but she wasnt trying, literally just met the guy infact. My husband and i have been trying for 2 years now, after a miscarriage and many long months of trying i feel crushed by the news. I dont want to be a mean jealous person but i cant help but feel so sad right now, how do you ladies do it?

Answer

It's hard but at the root of it is comparing yourself to others. You have to try to share in others' happiness, but you have to try not to think about what they have that you don't. I totally get how you're feeling. It really sucks. And I try to tell myself that in this life, there is no race. There is no competition. And also, something that helps me is being genuinely grateful and appreciative for what you do have. We're struggling to conceive our second baby, but I feel grateful that we already have one. And when I look at one of my friends whose husband can just look at her and she gets pregnant, I still see look at areas where I'm blessed. It's hard to remain jealous when you take advantage and appreciate what you do have. It's hard, and I'm still learning how.

Answer

I was super psyched! At least one of us had success. Her fertility had nothing to do with me.

Answer

You're allowed to be jealous! My husband and I have been trying for over 3 years and have had 6 miscarriages! The first baby shower I was invited to I turned down bc it was a week after my miscarriage and I knew I couldn't handle it. The first one I actually attended I spent some time crying in the bathroom.... everyone handles it differently. Over time it gets easier to hide the hurt but believe me,it still hurts!  You really just have to take one day at time and talk to someone about how you feel(I probably wouldn't talk to your pregnant friend bc she might take it the wrong way), even if it's just your husband. Not talking about it makes it harder to deal with it. The most important that I do that helps me deal with the unfairness of life is pray. I dont understand why I'm going through all of this but I'm choosing to pray, worship, and trust God through all of this. I know that one day I will hold a sweet baby in my arms and that's what I'm keeping my focus on. I'll be praying for you.

How do you handle finding out a friend is pregnant when you’ve been trying?

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