Need some tips on how to spice things up

So my fiancé is a serious video game addict lol. He works till three everyday, and the rest of the day is spent watching YouTube and playing video games. We have sex kinda regularly, but sometimes there will be periods of time where we can go three or four weeks without having sex. He was forced to give oral sex to his ex girlfriend, so he won’t ever go down on me (he has done it once and it wasn’t even considered oral), and I’m kinda down about that, but I understand why. I have lingerie and I have cuffs, but we don’t use them because he just isn’t ever in the mood. When we do have sex, it’s me blowing him until he’s hard enough, then I either get on top or he does and we do the deed for about five minutes then he’s orgasming and done. No cuddling post sex, just him getting back onto YouTube or playing a game. What can I do to get him more interested in sex with me? He says he loves me and loves having sex with me, but it’s always the same and when I try to spice things up, he suggests anal and I don’t like it. It hurts and I have problems with that area due to past trauma, so I don’t know what to do. Please help. Any suggestions can help.