This has taken time for me and I’m still lost wondering why on May 30 my ex boyfriend/father of my 8 month and my unborn baby (we been together would’ve been going on 3 yrs) decided he wanted to shoot and kill me well he did shoot me twice while my kids and our child was present I was in the bathroom getting ready for a bath when he came in we had broken up on the 22nd so it was only a week he packed his things and decided to leave so I hadn’t seen him or talked to him over that whole week so when he came in it startled me next thing I noticed him turn around close the bedroom door and locked it then tell our daughter I’m sorry baby i looked up gun was pointing right at my face I jumped up push the door jumped into the bathtub that’s when I seen I was shot blood was everywhere so I layed there act like I was dead then I heard him moaning in pain laying next to me in the bathroom on the floor he had shot his self I got out the tub and got out the house my children had got out the room and ran to the neighbors house I’m just thankful We still here and I know it was an angel in that room with us because he pointed the gun at the kids also I think he was upset because I told him after he left I was done with him things began to change after I had our daughter and he couldn’t see me at work with him no longer he started beating on me he started accusing me of cheating on him he told me when I started another job I’m going to find another man and he was going to buy my clothes for me to wear so every time I had an interview he would make an excuse so I can miss it or knowing he had to watch the baby he would pack his clothes leave for 2 days then tell me oh I wanna come home and pay bills but this time I told him idc if you come him I’m still leaving I had made my mind up that I was moving to New York with my mom and I didn’t care what he said I loved him so much but I told him I have to focus on me and my children right now because your steady pulling me down and not helping me come up you want me to depend on you but your complaining when bills come and I can’t really help my dad was giving my half of the bills and I felt like that wasn’t right nor was it my fathers priorities to be paying my bills so the night before he did this he had came in the house while I wasn’t there and he noticed I had packed all my kids clothes and my things I use to tell him I was leaving but never really meant it until now so he seen I was serious he had put the water hoes in the house and flooded it wetting our things I didn’t know he did it until the neighbors told me he did it the next day I had thought the ac was leaking or something so I didn’t think much of it I just don’t know what came over him that night I’m confused because I’m mad and grieving at the same time Me and my babies start counseling this week I just need someone to talk to and cry it out maybe this for the better I think and then I feel like I shouldn’t be here my emotions are up and down I just want to sleep and do nothing all day everyday im sad depressed upset mad I’ve lost so much behind this not to mention during the time im in the hospital going through surgeries and recovery my landlord decided to throw out all me and my children things when I went to the home to get my things the locks was changed they had painters in the house all my stuff was gone I was more hurt stressed not knowing where me and my kids will lay our head to sleep or eat I sometimes feel motivated that this is just the beginning of a brand new and better beginning for us but also I have a broken arm the bullet shattered my bone in my arm I may not be able to use my fingers again I just feel it’s hardship after hardship and things feel impossible to me I just need some encouragement and some praying warriors and support