Money is always an issue and I am fed up and .....

Emotionally drained. To the point of lost self esteem, self worth. I am not happy. I’m no longer motivated. I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t even recognise this new me. (Since I’ve gotten married)

(I apologise for the long post)

Bit of background.

Before I got married I was able to save money and still live comfortably. Since being married my finances have dwindled. Of course I contribute what I can towards bills (I give him a certain figure EVERY month) but need to make sure I have enough for my own bills and half of my child’s nursery fees.

I have a good stable job.

My husband knows what I earn and I can barely scrape some change after all bills have been paid. He earns a good living, has a great job, investments etc.

I have spoken to him all the time as to how I wish I could do more financially in the family etc. I even cry because the pain hurts.

He says he gets it but wants me to do more elsewhere like look after the home, our child etc which makes sense. So he has got us financially. But then goes and makes sensitive remarks when it comes to bills and finances which really affects me. Like I need to take on more bills. He will be transferring more to me- like I am making enough as it is.

Only recently he wanted to do some refurb and I said no, we are ok the way we are. I recently found an issue in the home and let him know right away as I thought it was the builders who came previously to fix a fault. He made me feel like what I was saying was nonsense when I was trying to explain the reason for the issues which he didn’t understand

He later sends me a message saying whatever the cost is to repair it, I have to take out half out of my already reduced salary to cover the costs. (Though he knows my work have now said they are reducing my hours which means I get paid less. Also my new route to work is going to cost me more which means I will still have less money to live on)

I honestly feel so hurt right now - so I called him and explained to him I saw his message and he knows I’m struggling right now as it is.

I am in debt as it is just to ensure I’m not put to shame and he is not put to shame when he asks me to buy things etc.

I love my husband but I’m really starting to resent him and feel some type of way towards him.

To add, we are expecting baby no2 and he has asked me to save a certain amount towards hospital bills which makes sense but the figure is so unrealistic. I don’t even make enough to save a penny. How am I supposed to meet up?

I don’t know what to do or what to say anymore.

I am tired!

UPDATE:

HE doesn’t believe in joint accounts. So I give him a certain amount every month towards bills etc which comes out of his account: I moved into his home when we got married. We didn’t buy the house together.

He is saving for the birth too