I had a miscarriage. There I said it. I never thought I’d have to say those words out loud. I just need to share my story to help me heal. Writing is therapeutic for me so to anyone who reads this, I thank you for taking your time to listen. This was our second pregnancy. We have a healthy 15 month old toddler and that pregnancy went as smoothly as it could. No complications I had my all natural L&D with a quick recovery.

We were so blessed we were able to conceive this second one just as easily. Then the past couple of days have been a living nightmare. I started with bleeding and slight cramping on Tuesday evening called my OB yesterday morning and was asked to come in.

My mom has been busy with being behind at work and my husband had to be with our toddler at home yesterday due to our sitter being on vacation so thankfully my friend who is 1 of my coworkers was able to leave work to go with me. Now I will never forget laying on the exam table and hearing those words “I’m sorry but there’s no heartbeat and the baby is measuring at about 9 weeks.” I was to be 12 weeks 3 days. Then the options were presented to me as to how to proceed and I had to make the call to my husband as well as my mom (who I have an extremely close relationship with).

I was at least thankful they were able to fit me in for my D&E that day as they managed to make room in the OR schedule for my case. My mom was able to come with me for that which was helpful. I’m just glad that part is over with. I guess it’s time to recover and move forward now. I’m thankful I have a great support system. And I know I’m not alone in this as it happens. It just f’ing sucks! I know I didn’t cause this to happen. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I know these things just happen.

But now we have to wait and start the TTC process all over again when given the green light. And I know I’ll be a nervous wreck when we do conceive again. I wouldn’t wish this situation on my worse enemy that’s for sure. I pray for those who are going through this right now as well and for those who have had worse situations than mine. I know that there is a rainbow after a storm and I can’t wait to be presented with our rainbow 🌈