My husband and I have been pregnant (currently 9w 3ds) 5 times. First time MC at 8w, second my son born premi but a healthy kid now 2.5yrs old, 3rd MC at 7w, and 4th time MC at 13w 5d.

I'm currently pregnant and just had my first Dr visit two days ago. The Dr a d nurses were all so nice they knew my history and everytime someone said congratulations ijist looked at them with a blank face and almost sad face and said thank you.

My husband and I don't even talk about the fact that I'm pregnant. I know it's just as hard for him as it is for me. Part of me wants to be so excited and think of names and pick out tiny baby clothes, and the other part of me is saying don't think that way because what if it happens again. How do I get excited for the baby we've been praying for for so long. And and I an awful person for not wanting to get excited for fear of a potential loss. 😞😢😞