Any moms of preteen girls?

Question

I have a 12 year old stepdaughter. I'm getting worried about her self image issues... 
She plucks her eyebrows, shaves her legs, beaches her stomach hair, uses 100s of dollars in skincare, can't leave the house without makeup, goes to the gym, and doesn't eat lunch at school because she doesn't want boys seeing her eat.
Some of this is normal, but all compounded together they worry me. Especially since her mom was admitted to rehab for an eating disorder when she was younger.
Are there any ways I can help her improve her self image?

Answer

For a 12 year old none of that sounds normal. She needs to be taught that her herself is beautiful. I have an 11 year old and her dad and I do our best to show her she beautiful inside and out. Believe it or not it works. She loves herself and her natural self at that. Be that example she needs and show her she's good enough how she is.

Answer

I would suggest getting her counseling, if she doesn’t have it already. It may not be as much of a self image issue, it could be learned. When a child witnesses someone struggling with self image and an eating disorder they may unintentionally pick up on those behaviors.

Answer

Thank you. I guess the world is just a very different place now lol. When I was in 6th grade I played with barbies 😄

Answer

I have a daughter that just turned 13. Nine of that sounds normal.

Answer

So after reading this, I would say her mom is probably the reason she is like this. I barely let my 12yo put blue streaks in her hair(she did it at her dad's house because I kept saying no lol) I wear a little makeup and walk but I'm not crazy obsessed with my appearance anymore. I'm an adult with an impressionable teen girl to worry about. There's nothing wrong with self care and looking nice, but it sounds like all of that is overboard. I wouldn't have dad talk to mom because obviously mom thinks all of this is ok. Maybe you guys could try talking to your daughter together and see what she's thinking. 12 is a hard age. I would totally talk about the food thing and working out. It's not ok that she doesn't eat at school, who cares what boys think lol its food!  And what 12yr old needs to work out? Being active is one thing, basketball, bike riding, you know kid things! She needs some more opinions on these things to help show her balance. What does dad think about all of this? Sometimes I worry my husband is too strict and I don't have enough of an opinion about make up and clothes etc. Mine says no dating til shes married 😁🤣

Answer

There isn’t anything wrong with her self care routine except for the eating part. You might want to talk to her and explain to her that it is ok to eat with her friends and that food isn’t negative. It doesn’t help that her mom had an eating disorder but by communicating with her positively, then it can help prevent her from going down the same road.

Answer

That definitely doesn't sound okay. I would find out who her friends are. She needs better ones. Also who is supplying her all the resources to do all these things..

Any moms of preteen girls?

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