Before me and my boyfriend got together he had messed around with this girl I’ll call K. When he broke things off with her she said she was pregnant with his baby and she was going to abort it just to spite him because he wouldn’t get back with her (he was prepared to be there for the baby just didn’t want to be with her). Thankfully she wasn’t really pregnant and was in desperate need of help which thankfully she also got after he cut ties with her when he found out she way lying. We rekindled our friendship with her about a year later after we had finally got together and she was showing great improvement on her mental health.

This April we found out I was pregnant, ttc, and within the same month found out it was ectopic. even tho I had no pain I had already started internally bleeding and had emergency surgery losing am baby and a tube at the same time. Iv healed physically and for the most part emotionally, I still cry every now and again. We have started trying to conceive again and Iv decided to stay off Facebook due to all the baby announcements from friends and family. I’m happy for all of them and even make sure to share my love but it also hurts my heart. But what really pushed me to the edge was that K just announced she’s pregnant even posted a pic of her rounding belly. I just got so mad and jealous. Even tho she was unstable before and is much better now, the last thing I want to do is hang what she did over head but all I could think about is this woman gets to have a baby while mine is in heaven. She was the 1st and so far only baby announcement that I actually cried to.

After my emotions settled I texted her congratulations and that I was happy for her but part of me is not happy. I wish nothing against her and I really hope she has a very healthy baby. I want nothing but the best for her but part of me is just mad not really at her but I’m just mad. That anger also makes me sad I’m not sure what to do.

Sorry for my rant