Anxiety sufferers

Ok.... please don’t judge this post.

I suffer from anxiety. It was really bad before I was pregnant and what helped me every night was wine. I won’t lie and say I’ve never had a glass of wine throughout my pregnancy, I’ve had a few here and there (no judgement). I also was a heavy smoker before I became pregnant and I cut down a lot during pregnancy and eventually was planning on quitting fully (obviously) which was about to happen 3 weeks ago. I heard some terrible news that I won’t even share here because it’s def going to be a trigger. Since then I started smoking again (more) but not like my usual half a pack to a pack a day. More like 6, maybe 7 a day, if that. I had 2 baby glasses of wine yesterday to see if it helped my anxiety and it helped just a tad. Today was my baby shower and I had another 2 glasses. Again, nothing that even makes me feel tipsy, just like takes the edge off, but that didn’t really work again. I obviously am not willing to keep trying a glass of wine cause it doesn’t seem to help and it’s not worth it. Even having a cigarette only helps temporarily and I’m starting to freak myself out for the next 13 weeks ahead of me! Any suggestions at all will help! Any anxiety sufferers with any idea of how to help this besides with wine and cigarettes because that no longer can be my go to since that’s obviously not good for anybody right now?! Help! And please, again, no judgement because that won’t help in the least!