I always figured the picture perfect life. College, marriage, and kids

But kids also scare me. Like love my nieces and nephews but I find myself hardly wanting to play with them. Like my niece always wants me to play but I don’t want to. I also don’t really know what to do about babies. I nannies my niece when she was a baby but when my other was born, I found myself kinda overwhelmed. And I really have no interest in holding friends kids. But still I thought that I’d had the American dream.

But then my boyfriend said that he doesn’t think he wants them. And I’m conflicted. He has always been paranoid about birth control. Then he was talking about a vasectomy. I don’t know what I want now. Could I live a life without kids. It just feels like that’s what you’re supposed to do with life