I was with my ex for 2 years...

3 months into our relationship he went to the doctor due to irritation in his genital area.

Turns out he had chlamydia and he caught it from me.

I must have caught it from my previous partner.

He never believed me when I told him I didn’t know I had it....I never had any symptoms?

...I guess it was my own fault that I hadn’t checked myself at the doctor in a long time....

But I didn’t think I urgently had to.

We both cured it and were fine ever since.

However... he never let me forget about it and made me feel horrible every day for the rest of our relationship and constantly made me feel dirty.

I felt bad enough as it was never knowing I had it in the first place...I’d have never been intimate in the first place had I known.

I could never win in those 2 years.

He would do horrible things to me and if I got mad he’d say “well you gave me Chlamydia”.

I’d tell him to leave after and he’d say “I forgave you for it, that’s why I stayed.”

So he’d continue to torture me for it any chance he got.

Over those 2 years, it was at least twice a week he reminded me of it and made me feel disgusted with myself.

We eventually broke up.

When we spoke after our break up he admitted to me that he never respected me after that, but stayed anyway.

I always felt like a horrible person for unknowingly giving this to him.

Even 8 months after our break up I still feel horrible and have deep emotional problems with intimacy.

It’s one thing when the man who says he loves you makes you feel dirty, slutty and horrible about yourself all the time.

This is the first time I’ve admitted this to anyone other than him or the doctor we shared.

(Hence the anonymous post).

I just need advice on how to deal with it...

Did I deserve this?