I’m with a man whom I consider to be the love of my life. We’ve known each other four years and have been dating for six months. Lately, however, I’ve noticed things that he’s said that I think should be “red flags” but I don’t want to think like that because I love him:

He has had multiple crushes and women that he has fooled around with in the past...its very likely that I know these women because we went to a small college but he won’t tell me who...which makes me wonder why he wants it to be a secret?

Today he said he thinks it’s fine to ogle and make sexual or inappropriate comments about other women because his family does it. He was raised and around that kind of behavior and he doesn’t see a problem with it.

When discussing our relationship he made a point of telling me that if something were to happen to me, he would definitely be with another woman. Of course that’s to be expected but I felt very devalued to be told that.

Our friends who are recently married are not as affectionate with each other as they were in earlier stages of their relationship. He simply commented that things like that just happen and that men don’t need to be as openly loving once they’re married. ...internally I think, “why would I marry someone whom I know will stop trying?”

Are these red flags or am I overthinking this? I love him with all my heart but we were raised in very different families and I fear we have very different perspectives on love and respect for partners.