My heartache


I’ve loved this man for so long throughout the four years in high school even after when I moved to go to college. We broke up after a semester of me moving because of distance and well being fresh out of high school. Four years after we broke up he and I started to talk again and obviously I fell in love all over again even if we were still long distance and almost two years later we were still together but there was a voice in the back of my head that just kept me from being with him completely. The distance maybe but everything was just hard. He lost his job and I was having mom and dad issues and he couldn’t pay for his phone so we didn’t get to talk for some time and the time difference didn’t help. I’m 21 and I don’t think I’m ready to be with my forever person. I want to go out, be young but how can I when I left the only person I’ve ever loved who knows me more then I know myself. I broke his heart told him I couldn’t be with him because I was a mess which is true but the ache in my heart hurts so much. I miss him but he needs his space to heal. I miss my best friend.