I wanted to comment on your post, but my phone was not cooperating. I prayed for you last night. I prayed that you were restored with hope. Given the strength. And wrapped in the love. I know you don’t know me and this might not mean anything to you;for that reason, but I want you to know you are SO loved. You said you are a terrible person, don’t let yourself believe that. You’ve been fighting your demons and refusing to leave your daughter without you. That is a hero of a mother. A Terrible person wouldn’t be capable of that. Reading your post was heartbreaking for me. I lost a friend to suicide around this time last year, at 37 weeks pregnant. She was such a beautiful person. Her daughter was to be called Winter. I wanted to meet that child. She was brave, had a hard life and was battling many demons. But... on the outside she seemed to be doing better than she ever had, she was absolutely radiant and excited to become a mother. She had a home, a partner, she was sober and it seemed her pain had eased. And then she was gone. I regret so much that I didn’t check in more, that she didn’t call me up like she had in the past when she was stranded or scrambling to get out of an apartment. It feels like I’ve been given the opportunity from the universe to tell you the things I never had the chance to tell her.: You have touched more lives than you know, your loss would devastate them completely. Your impact on the world is greater than yourself, and suffering can serve a purpose. You will make it through this, this is not forever. You have people in your corner who will fight for you, even if you can’t see them. Reach out to anyone who you can think of... even a suicide hotline. They can help you. Sometimes it’s easier talking to someone you don’t know, someone who can help reshape your perspective. They can help you build your support system. Sometimes we feel alone, but when you ask or even scream for help... people come out of the woodwork. You aren’t invisible. You matter, bring that baby into this world. You are not your mother, it’s okay to think it’s hard, it’s okay not to be perfect. It’s NOT okay to give up.