Advice for dealing with my mother

Rosa

I am having a hard time. My mom and I have never had the best relationship, one being that we are two completely different people, and the other are childhood traumas. My mother is an overly sensitive person and has a codependency problem. My grandma would help my mom pay her bills (not financially, just actually doing them for her), talk to bill collectors on the phone for her, set up doctors appointments, etc. my grandma passed away a year ago and my mom had chosen to distance herself from her family because they are all a mess in their own way. I have too, but for my own reasons. My mother is her own worst enemy and constantly prevents her self from self improvement. My mom is also a recluse and it is hard for her to be out in public past a certain time. Which I understand, but the problem is she constantly relies on me to make her happy. I went over her place not to long ago, and she said “ I get really depressed when I don’t see you over the weekend.” She basically told me I’m the cause of her depression. Well unfortunately we work together one day a week. I’ve been helping her out while the company changes owners. I haven’t talked to her since Friday because my husband’s family has been in town. Today (Thursday) I come in and she’s pouting and has hardly said a word to me. I struggle cause the guilty part of me wants to please her and say sorry for something I shouldn’t be sorry for just so she’ll put a damn smile on her face and move on. The other part of me, that has worked so hard to get better at, doesn’t want to acknowledge her behavior because it isn’t my job to make her happy. Idk what to do? How do I tell someone, nicely, that I’m not responsible for their happiness?