Today marks one year. Of trying. Of waiting. Of heartbreak.

1 year of more ovulation tests than I can count. 1 year of more pregnancy tests than I ever thought I would take. 1 year of so many “whys” 1 year of suffering without telling anyone. 1 year of “no babies yet?” 1 year of jealousy and crying over friends’ pregnancy announcements while trying so hard to be happy for them. 1 year of “maybe this is our month!” 1 year of “God, please, this time.” 1 year of looking at that stupid room that’s “going to be a nursery.” 1 year of TTC and pregnancy articles. 1 year of dreaded two week waits. 1 year of doctor’s visits. 1 year of hopes dashed. 1 year of thinking something could be wrong. 1 year of not holding the baby we thought we would have.

But maybe next year....