Have you experienced this?

Question

I was abused by my grandfather for 5 years now, now I feel like I’m attracted to older guys in there 40’s and 50’s. I’m super embarrassed of this because all my friends like guys around our age and I know it’s very frowned upon but I can’t help how I feel. Have any of you experienced this, or have you felt like you can’t connect with guys your age after your trauma?

Answer

Your attraction may not have anything to do with what happened to you. It's also not a "bad" thing whatever the reason. It may be different than most peoples attractions but your definitely not the only one in the world. I didn't go through any kind of abuse and I'm attracted to much older men as well. People might think it's weird, I don't care much lol. As long as it's not hurting you or "wrong", don't be so concerned about it. If friends don't accept that then you need other friends. It's not a big deal. I'm very sorry for what happened with your grandfather thought. I hope you are okay. Please don't feel like you are ruined somehow

Answer

I had an ex of mine saying I was only attracted to him because of the abuse I suffered (he was 20 years older than me). If anything, I find it easier to be with men older than 35 because of the maturity level, as the abuse makes you mentally older and younger at the same time, so I need someone who's matured enough to be able to cope with that.
On the other side, my abuser was shaven and I now like beards. For all the age might make you believe you're attracted to older men for this one factor, there are many reasons for attraction. Just find what makes you comfortable, not what others believe you should be doing.

Have you experienced this?

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