Freshman year of college is supposed to be an exciting time. However, it turned into living hell and filled with panic attacks. I met a boy and we started talking. I thought things were going okay. I was a virgin and he wasn’t. I explained to him at one point that I was waiting for marriage. After going out for dinner one day he decided to touch me in the car. I told him no. He kept doing it and even after saying no so many times I just stopped cause he wasn’t listening. I didn’t know what to do but I liked the idea of having a “boyfriend”. This went on for a month until one day he told me he had a surprise for me and put a location into the GPS and asked me to drive to it. I did so and it was an abandoned parking lot. Before I do even do anything he put my car in park and turned it off. Pinned me down and pulled the seat back and yeah... I lost my virginity this way. I found out after not having my period that I was pregnant. A few months later I experienced a miscarriage. It was going to be a baby girl. Jamie Reese I decided to name her.

This wasn’t my first time experiencing these type of things. I am adopted and my biological father was abusive physically and sexually. He was arrested when I was 3. My biological mom went through the classes to get custody of me and my brothers. When she gained custody again the guys she dated were just like my father. I was constantly sexually abused before I even really knew what sex was. Thankful for adoption that got me out of that situation when I was 8 years old. However, I remember a lot of what happened. 😭 PTSD is a real thing and can be caused by other things besides war. I know cause I struggle with it.

Thank you for letting me post this and get it off of my chest <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.glow.android.eve">Eve</a>. Especially thank you for letting it be anonymous...