I’m 11 weeks pregnant. My husband is really burned out and I feel has undiagnosed OCD. He’s making me an absolute wreck, insisting I only eat organic because pesticides could give the kid autism, having a panic attack if I get anywhere near the (sealed) bag of organic potting soil because it’s not CERTIFIED organic so I might get toxoplasmosis. Tonight I made dinner and the dog walked by our plates and he didn’t touch any of them but husband flipped out. He’s working incredibly long hours and right now I don’t drive (long story — I lost my license years ago and am relearning how to drive but have a ways to go. He’s teaching me which is adding to our stress. I offered to take a driving class but he’s stressed about the extra expense.)

So he drives both of us to and from work. We get into terrible yelling matches almost every night and I end up sobbing because I did something ‘wrong’ and I don’t know what to do. I think if he weren’t so burned out it would be better but he is worried about money and works on commission so he almost never stops. We aren’t exactly living paycheck to paycheck either — it’s just that he has an elaborate idea of where we should be in our lives, with a house, etc. But we cover all our expenses, set aside a bit for retirement and a LOT for student loans, and still are able to save money. Life isn’t perfect but we are ok.

I’m so worried I’m going to lose or damage the baby because of the constant stress. I’ve suggested he go back into therapy or we go to couples therapy but he is so burned out that the idea of adding a therapy appointment to his week sounds traumatizing. What should we do? :(