Not trying to be gross but ...

I once heard that everything you hear before the word BUT is bullshit and should be disregarded because your about to do what you said you didn’t want to or whatever 🤣 anyways so this is TMI if you don’t want to know don’t keep reading.

I’ve been trying to be a lot more transparent with my subscribers and followers both here on glow but also on YouTube as well and before I muck up the courage to talk about it on my channel later today I’m gonna post it here since I love you ladies so much hahaha . I recently opened up about being shot in April 2018 and how I ended up getting on methadone after I got out of the hospital and I still take it to this day. I am 21 weeks pregnant with my rainbow baby after losing my son Liam at 22w3d on thanksgiving last year & this pregnancy hasn’t been easy either.

As the baby gets bigger I am getting more and more constipated not only because of it being normal for pregnant women to become constipated but also a double whammy because I am taking methadone regularly. The other day I was so constipated it made me have diarrhea. But for about 2 hours I was having the WORSE diarrhea cramps I’ve ever experienced but I couldn’t get anything to come out because I’m so damn constipated . 🤦🏼‍♀️ I must have gotten on and off the toilet like 40 times I am not even exaggerating 🤣🤷🏼‍♀️ . Keep in mind I am like totally getting worried now that from straining and pushing I am going to send myself into labor so that’s probably making me take even longer !!! I was shaking and sweating and thought I was going to pass TF out. Like who knew diarrhea could be THIS EXHAUSTING! So finally about 2.5 hours after I’ve been getting on and off the toilet with the worse bubble guts of my life I get on google to make sure I’m not going to harm my rainbow by straining or anything ( ridiculous I know but I lost my last baby I can’t loose this one too ) I also thought I was leaking amniotic fluid after about an hour and a half so I was a little over paranoid. Anyway after I do some reading I say fuck it , it’s go time we are getting SOMETHING out right now even if it’s just a nugget . I go into the bathroom y’all I could have sworn I was having a whole baby or something it was so uncomfortable and painful and I was cold sweating and shaking and seeing spots but finally I got some out and it was like opening up the flood gates 🤣🤣 I probably shat for 10 minutes straight . After I got the blockage out I had diarrhea for the rest of the day and I swear it felt like I had been wiping all day with fuckin sandpaper.

I thought I was just sore from having to wipe so much but the next morning I get in the shower and I’ve got 2 hemorrhoids and they MFing hurt. its been 3 days and my stomach isn’t all fucked anymore but my husband wanted to have sex before work this morning and I just couldn’t do it 😬🤣 I told him babe I can’t have anything that close to my ass right now. If you accidentally slipped out and stabbed me in the ass I could chop off your dick ahaha. Has that happened to anyone ? Your man giving it real good and all the sudden the rhythm gets thrown off and he slides out and it does a little Prairie dog type thing where “ it’s just the tip “ omg I hate that haha.

Anyway I am babbling at this point but the reason I wanted to post this is because I know there are a lot of you ladies out there pregnant like me on replacement therapy who don’t get to read funny posts like this they can fully relate to because we feel we’re gonna be judged so harshly for the medicine we’re taking. I make posts about being on methadone and pregnant and women leave comments that I am brave. No I’m not brave I just refuse to let strangers judge me for something they have no idea the reason behind. 😚