Break up

Me and my boyfriend broke up 2 days ago..we are both 17.. it kills me every second. Our one year would’ve been in a few days and his birthday is coming up and I was so excited. I’ve been trying to constantly text him and be friends at least.. the relationship was toxic although I am blamed for all of it. I no friends to talk about it to, but my mom has been there every step of the way and has comforted me so much. It just hurts because literally 3 days ago we had sex and said he loved me and we were forever, and now he’s being so cold towards me and I’m the one to blame. I thought we were okay... it hurts so bad .. so so so bad