Moving on: baby loss and relationship loss

I’m not sure why I wanted to post this but I think I needed to spill it somewhere and I feel like this is a safe place for it.

In November/December of 2018 my boyfriend of 2 years and childhood best friend found out we were pregnant. We were both very excited , my parents were excited also , our lives were going great. I was 18 and he was 19 , both of us about to graduate and plan our futures together.

And then I found out.

He had been cheating on me. With 8 different girls.

One of which had been my best friend.

By then it was almost January and I was destroyed beyond repair. It ruined all my friendships and school for me. But thankfully no one had known about my baby yet.

I made the very tough decision of keeping or terminating my pregnancy, and in the end I decided I didn’t want to raise a child in a broken family knowing that it’s father was an awful man ( there was more to it then just the cheating but I’ll spare you the rest.) And the first week of January I did the most awful horrible thing I had ever done and I said goodbye to the most precious thing that had ever blessed my life. And then I dumped that man whore and got on with my life and did my best to stay away from him. He came at me for weeks and months , showing up to my work and house even when I wasn’t home and harassing my parents. To say it was a hard time was an understatement.

But.

It’s July of 2019 now. Rumors went around but I dodged them easily and everyone just had a little laugh about it and no one knows the pain and horror I’ve been through and the nights I’ve cried and held baby clothes and stuffed animals and god knows what else.

I’m ready for college and I’ve met someone who’s got a big heart, and apparently has had there eyes on me for a long time ( I’m just oblivious and never noticed him.) he has big dreams and wants to be a firefighter. I’m happy to call my life mine now and I’m glad I am where I am. But I thank the lord for everyday he gave me with my little baby, even if I never got to meet him or her. My life is mine and I’m glad I can live it freely without the man who destroyed a bright future.

I’m sorry to anyone who’s lost a baby not by their own choice. I wish you would’ve had the chance to meet your angel too.