Living with neice and nephews. Impact on Me.

I have to spill my heart because it ways so heavily on me.

So I live with my 6-year-old neice and, 2-year-old (herb) and 6-month-old nephews, my youngest sister, mom, and autistic older brother. I ran away from an emotionally abusive boyfriend in the south. They took me in.

Anyhow, i watch how the kids are, behave and I pay attention to their development. I studied psychology in college and graduate school so the why of behavior is fascinating to me. I've been googling milestones and when xyz should happen.

Unfortunately my sister is not the best of mother's. She's young and mentally in the mindset of "I missed out n lost so much after becoming a mother so young." Very hands off unless it's hitting to discipline. No schedules. No interaction. No real mealtimes it's just up in the air and 90% of the time I'm getting them their meals sporadically. My neice has developed manipulative and defiant behavior and my reading suggests it's a result of emotional neglect. My sister stays in her room, sleeps and games pretty much all day. It's rough with a new baby n two others. She's incredibly depressed. It's obvious. Herb, the one that is two, still drinks from the bottle 5-6 times a day and can't fall asleep without it. He is incredibly dependent on them. He doesn't talk much and he turns three in two months. Ive been here with them since May.

I'm looking at what my sister does and doesn't do and the impact on them. She has her bf over, father of the baby, and they have sex in front of my nephews. They fight. There's domestic violence they all see. Few months ago I had to call the cops on the bf. I have to raise my baby here till I get on my feet and it terrifies me.

I'm googling all the things that should happen, when to get off the bottle, switch to a crib, ect. It's gonna be hard to be more structured in a home so laizze faire. Granted I'm 28 and my sister had her first at 16. I worry myself over how and what will impact my baby psychologically being in this type of home environment.